All Chiefs, No Indians

July 22, 2012

I remember Gigi (Jared’s maternal grandmother) once telling me that she had five chiefs and no Indians as we discussed the various strong personalities of her children. I do believe I have suffered the same fate. My children are spirited–the lot of them. And I love it! (except, of course, when I want to pull all my hair out). Here are a few of their recent shenanigans:

Asher (Chief “Ihaveabetteridea”)

Here’s Asher modeling his latest school paraphernalia.

After passing his kindergarten evaluation and hearing he would be attending school in the fall, Asher asked: “Should I call you ‘mother’ now instead of ‘mom’ or ‘mommy’?” (Um, no. Definitely not. And please don’t ever ask that question again.)

“Would a fire be able to burn up a tornado?”

“If a whale and a shark got in a fight, who would win?”

“Is a shark stronger than a tiger?”

After discovering that Little Caesar’s was closed on Easter night: “OH!! I told my teachers we were going to have crazy bread. And now I LIED!!!” (spoken in earnest despair) But then when he realized we were laughing at his distress he jokingly added: “And that’s a big problem.”

Asher: “Mom, do tornadoes kill people?” Me: “Sometimes they do, Asher”. Later, after hearing about a tornado warning Asher bravely asked: “Is God sending that tornado to kill us?” (poor tormented child!)

Asher–guiltily–after my surprise visit to the basement where they were playing: “Mommy, we’re sorry for saying selfish things about you. When you were upstairs we said bad things about you–that you were mean to us.” (I had told them to go back to the basement and stay off the stairs. Apparently they were ranting about it in the basement).

Asher praying for Bible teachers in the country of Guinea Nissau. (see Operation World)  “Help them to teach your Word like Moses taught the Israelites your commandments in the desert.”

Asher praying for the orphans in Haiti: “Dear God, please help the little orphan children in Haiti to not be afraid because you will take care of them.”

Asher in a conversation with me about his need to obey: “but God rules over you too. He is the father of everyone.”

And after a VERY rough day filled with much reproof, Asher prayed with soul-stirring sincerity: "I’m so bad. Dear God, please give me a new spirit.”

Asher spontaneously composing rhymed couplets: “You sprayed my head and now I’m dead.”

And rewriting familiar songs: “If you tease, tease, tease. I will break your face like a dangerous cow.” (sung to the tune of “Read Your Bible, Pray Every Day)

After watching Mary Poppins (and especially the Chimney Sweeps’ number): "Can WE dance in dangerous places?!”

Me to Asher: “Please crawl under the table and pick up the crumbs that Haven has been dropping (meanwhile Haven furiously begins to drop more) Asher: “What? Ugh! Am I your slave?”

Asher to Uncle David: “Who was Cad Bane’s (clone wars villain) daddy? David: "I don’t know.” Asher: Well, he must have been raised foolish.

Asher to Jared: "Please, daddy. I don’t want to listen to that story.” (The Magician’s Nephew). Can we listen to our Bible stories instead? I want to learn to be wise.” (Aaand don’t be fooled, folks. He’s simply scared of The Magician’s Nephew and was manipulating his daddy with a well-crafted argument.)

After his haircut: Do I look like Logan now?!“ (his older cousin and current idol)

To Jude: "Do I remind you of Logan?”

And then there is Jude (Chief I’lljustsparklemyeyesandgetawaywithit)

Here’s Jude observing our caterpillars.

Jude to Asher: (mustering his meanest, angriest voice) “Fine! Don’t talk to me anymore!!“ (forbidden words!) Just talk to Haven.” Pause.  “Aaand to me. I was just teasing.” (It dawns on him that I just might have heard him)

Jude to me: "You hurt my feelings.” (Sad, sad words, those. Wounds a mommies feelings too!)

Delirious Jude–as I moved his arm after he fell asleep in an awkward position: “Who’s doing that?”


Yelling up at me from the basement: “I found something that opens up and goes with a toy.” I get these cryptic descriptions all the time. And do I really have to yell an answer in response. He seems to think so–

Riding in the car and randomly announcing, “My hands smell like money!”

While I’m holding him: “Now can you put me down? I want to play with my food so we don’t waste time.”

While we are out for ice cream with another family, all of us are engaged in play and/or conversations. But Jude is sitting next to me making bizarre noises and vibrating his body. What are you doing Jude?

Jude: I’m pretending like all those cars on the road are hitting me.“

Right…Still a bit of a maverick and not interested in a lot of social interactions.

Me to the boys: You boys have had so many treats today (after a birthday party, a baby shower and a trip to McDonalds with daddy), we are eating better tomorrow. Don’t even ask for a treat. Jude: “I’m going to ask for a treat because you’ll forget you said it.” (So, I’m forgetful, apparently. Must be why he’s forever "reminding” me of things).

And my personal favorite, at bedtime every night: “Can you give me a kiss and a hug?”

And another personal favorite: “Mommy.”

“Yes, Jude.”

“I love you.”

This he does multiple times a day. And It never gets old.

And a few brotherly interactions:

Here they are at the beach, up to their necks in sand!

In a conversation with boys: “You are going to grow up and leave us. You won’t live with us forever.”

Sweet Jude: “But I don’t want to leave. I want to live with you forever.”

Me: “I remember thinking that and saying the same thing to my parents, but when you grow up things will change. You will want to leave. And that is a good thing!”

Jude, emphatically: “No I won’t.”

Asher (listening in): “So who do you love more–your mommy and daddy or (my) daddy?”
and without waiting for an answer, another question: “Who do you love best? God?

Me: “I want to love God the best.” (Talk about convicting!)

Jude to me: “Can we eat outside, mommy?” Me: “Not tonight, Jude.” Jude reporting to Asher: “She said Nooooo!” Asher to Jude: “Ask her again, Jude, because she’ll probably change her mind.” (So in addition to being forgetful, I’m now capricious. And mean. And no doubt many other things I’ve not been privy to hearing!)

Asher yelling to Jude across three rooms (?)  “What are you doing, Jude?”

Jude: “I’m trying to get a nail off my toe?”

Asher: “Oh, which one?”

Jude: “My little toe.”

Asher, “Okay, well have fun with that.”

Jude: “Okay, I will.”

Asher: “I love you, Jude”

Jude: I love you too, Asher.”

(Really? these conversations are important enough to be yelled across the house?!)

And and update on Haven aka Chieftess I’mthebabyandcannotbeheldresponsible

You might be the baby sister of two older brothers if you learn to say “gun” before you say “baby.”

Haven at 17 months is promising to be just as spirited as her older brothers. Don’t try any distraction methods on this baby. She won’t fall for any of them. In fact, she’ll yell at you if you try. And this girl who loves her paci at nap and bedtimes will throw it in your face if you dare to offer it to her while she’s upset. The picture below is classic Haven. At casual glance you might think she’s sweetly playing a game of peek-a-boo, but I actually just told her to look at the camera, and she responded by covering her eyes.

The older Haven gets the more she wants to leave me to play with her brothers. I do miss the cuddle time, but I love seeing her find her place among her siblings. For a few months, she definitely preferred Asher. He was more thoughtful and protective toward her. Jude, on the other hand, was a threat. She would scream at him and try to push him out of my lap when he would sit there. If I pulled him aside to talk to him individually she would make a scene to distract my attention. She would go out of her way to provoke him–pulling his hair, kicking him, and stealing his toys. But, I am happy to say that development was short lived. Now, she is quite smitten with him. I notice her carefully observing and imitating him. Her face lights up when he talks to her. She even calls him “Dude.” For his part, Jude is also slowly learning that parents hold lower standards for babies. They don’t have to share for a while. They get a pass when they make a mess at the table. He is allowing her to be a baby and not judging her by his 3 ½ year old milestones. All in all, they have really grown to love each other in the last month. And just in time too since Asher will begin to spend his days at school in just one short month and a half!

I’ve also discovered that Haven has mad fine motor skills. She’s great at scribbling–on floors, walls, cabinets, and clothes. She can also pry the lids off play dough, and uses her pincer grasp to pull off the tiniest pieces of play dough you’ve ever seen and drop them in random places. all. over. the. house. She’s feeding herself with spoons and forks (except when she decides she wants help–then she’ll quietly slide the utensil into the hand of whoever is nearest her). And she has mastered the art of digging and shoveling dirt. (unfortunately she too often shovels it right into her mouth!)

Haven didn’t have a single tooth until well after her first birthday.  She has been popping them out right and left since. She’s a classic teether–drooling, runny nose, low grade fever, diaper rash, night waking, even an ear infection. So, we had to go the penicillin route. And we discovered our poor girlie is allergic. Here are a couple pictures of her hives. They got much worse than this, but even in her sickness Haven was too busy to pin down for a picture, so this is what I got.

She is feeling much better now that her hives are gone and that first troublesome molar has popped through. We love our high-spirited, determined little girl!

loving the beach!

waiving at the mailman

sporting shampoo-styled hair (pardon the pink tub tile. attempting to remedy that unfortunate color now!)

gardening with Papa Rodman

Papa treats them to ice cream from the neighborhood truck

a play date with 10 kids!!!!

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